Can You Be a Dominant Man and Enjoy Wearing a Chastity Cage?
Cock cages for men are a modern invention popular since, roughly, the early 2000s. Historically, however, women were forced to wear chastity belts.
Belts manifested at a time when women were so subservient to men they endured enforced denial of their own bodies. Paranoid husbands who were off fighting wars (or something?) wanted to ensure their wives couldn’t do the dirty on them.
Historians have pretty much debunked the medieval chastity belt as myth, calling it a Victorian fetishization of the Dark Ages. Either as myth or reality, chastity belts set the power dynamic. The submissive wears the device. The Dominant controls it.
Many in the chastity community follow this dynamic. So, in our case, men wearing cages identify as submissive and whoever holds the key is Dominant. And it’s widely accepted by the kink and BDSM community that devices are a symbol of subservience.
“I would not call any man wearing a cock cage, ‘Dominant’,” says Master Arcane from The Crow Academy, which offers BDSM, fetish, and D/s workshops, seminars, and shows.
Arcane goes on to say, “When someone defines themselves as strictly Dominant they do not serve, but command; they do not themselves get restricted but they restrict another.” The ‘restriction’ in this case is a chastity device. “A man who allows himself to be put in a cock cage by another, is consenting to an expressly submissive act,” explains Arcane.
He’s not the only Dom to think this. Others I spoke to felt the same and had never, in all their years of experience, met a male Dom who wore a cage.
So that’s that. Dominant guys don’t wear cages. We can end the article here.
Except we can’t. Because the theory that every man who wears a chastity device must be sub, is as much a myth as the misperception that every medieval woman was belted.
Exploring Chastity as a Caged Dominant
“I’ve recently goten (sic) back into being a Dom and realized I was doing the old death grip way too much…so have been considering chastity.”
“I’ve been wondering for a while how unusual it is that we incorporate and enjoy chastity, but my husband isn’t naturally submissive.”
“You wouldn’t put an aggressive animal in a cage and call it submissive because of where it is.”
These are a handful of comments from threads and subreddits asking Can a Dom wear chastity? Men identifying as Dominant are wrestling with why they’re finding a traditionally subby fetish so appealing.
Here are a couple of possible reasons.
- They may be switch, rather than Dominant. This means they enjoy being Dominant in some scenarios, but switch to being submissive in others.
- Their attraction to chastity may stem from auto-eroticism rather than wearing a cage to explore D/s dynamics.
Master Arcane says, “Placing the cage on oneself for personal enjoyment can be an auto-erotic activity. But auto-eroticism doesn’t make something Dominant or submissive. One would have to dive deep into the headspace of the person placing it upon themselves before you could assess if the act has personal elements of D/s or if it is simply an enjoyable sensation.”
Headspace is almost certainly the key to unlocking the answer to the question: Can Dom men wear cages?
It Comes Down to Mindset
A consensual power dynamic only works when the people involved embrace the mindset of their role and accept the other person’s. Every D/s partnership includes rules and agreements so each person gets what they want out of it. Someone with a Dominant mindset can adapt a predominantly submissive fetish to serve their own tastes, wants, and needs.
To quote Redditor, Letstryitfirst:
"One of the most basic elements of being a Dominant is that you get to decide how you want to lead a scene… The symbolic power of chastity is who holds the keys.”
If you’re a Dominant in possession of your own keys, you can change the symbolism of the cage. Instead of it signifying enforced restriction or control of the wearer’s pleasure, a Dom might lock up to restrict the submissive’s access, which is only granted when permitted by the Dominant.
In that light, cock cages take on a very different feel, tone, and pleasure.
Why Dominant Men Lock Their Cocks
Using the cage as an extra reward during power play is one reason, but it’s not the only motivation.
It Feels Good
Enjoying the feel of the cage is an attractive element of chastity. The gentle tugging. And yes, sometimes the slight pain of straining against the cage when aroused. This inherent element of sensation play is appealing no matter where you lie on the Dom/sub spectrum.
It’s a Symbol of Devotion
In a Dom/sub relationship, it’s generally the submissive who wears a symbol of ownership. A necklace, ring, collar, or bracelet for example. But depending on the agreement and the nature of their partnership, the Dom may choose to wear an item that symbolizes their dedication to their submissive. That, even if they have other subs they train or work with, there is a part of them reserved only for that submissive.
Locking up their most intimate area while the sub trains or serves their Dominant until they see fit to release it can show their submissive that they are invested in them. It represents a level of trust in the dynamic. It says, ‘Here is a pledge that I will make to you.’
Making It Work
As a Dominant you’re likely to hold your own keys. So how do you resist temptation? In much the same ways as those of us who self-lock.
- Use a chastity app and lock box so you can only access the keys after your designated time limit has passed.
- Trust your submissive with the key and make it part of their duty to you to protect the key until a given time.
- Create a written contract for yourself so you can refer to the rules of your chastity to help bind you to your task.
The welfare of your submissive should be important to you. If you’re wearing a chastity device as a sign of devotion or as a reward, this can be an effective way to hold yourself accountable. Unlocking before the agreed time may upset the balance of your dynamic and your submissive.
Conclusion: Being Dominant and Caged Is Possible
The Dominant caged male is a small and often quietly spoken section of the chastity community. But if exploring this topic taught me anything, it’s that we shouldn’t always conclude that every man wearing a cock cage is submissive or wants to be ruled by a keyholder. It’s further evidence of how malleable the chastity fetish is and how each person can make it their own.
Chastity Cages Befitting a Dom
What we wear and how we present ourselves helps shape our mindset. So for Dominants, a pink, extra small, or inverted cock cage might not send the right message. But these ones will.