The Total Chastity Dictionary

Male chastity can be a difficult fetish to wrap your head around. This isn’t made any easier by all the language commonly used by those “in the know”. So if you’ve ever wondered what a clitty is, don’t have a clue what FLR means, or don’t know when to switch, this page is for you.

Basic Chastity Phrases

If you’re already involved in a chastity relationship, or have been interested in the fetish for a while, then you might already know most of these terms. But if you’re a complete novice then this list can demystify some of the things you’re not sure about.

Belt: A different kind of chastity device that covers your entire genital area.

Cage/Device/Prison: Various terms used to describe a chastity cage.

Chastity: The practice of abstaining from sexual activity.

Contract: A document that outlines the expectations of each person involved in a chastity relationship. Will describe the behavior expected, the punishments for failure, and how long the relationship will last.

Dominant:The more dominant role in a relationship. Traditionally a role taken by the man, but in a chastity relationship this role can be taken by anyone willing to be the dominant partner for the slave.

Female Chastity: The umbrella term for the fetish which involves a woman abstaining from sexual activity, or having her sexual activity controlled by another person.

Gap: The space between the ring and the tube. The size of the gap can have a large impact on comfort while wearing the cage.

Keyholder: The person who looks after the keys to a man’s chastity cage (or woman’s chastity device).

Lockup/Locked/Caged: Various words used to describe the slave when they are wearing the cage.

Male Chastity: The umbrella term for the fetish which involves a man abstaining from sexual activity, or having his sexual activity controlled by another person.

Master: The name given to a man who takes the dominant role in a chastity relationship.

Mistress: The name given to a woman who takes the dominant role in a chastity relationship.

Pledge: A term used to describe a slave’s commitment to wearing a chastity device and following the rules for a certain period of time.

Punishment: A penalty usually given to the submissive for breaking some of the rules set out by their dominant.

Ring: The cock ring part of a chastity cage. This is placed behind the testicles and allows your to secure the tube in place.

Slave: The name given to the person wearing the chastity device and being denied sexual activity. Also a derogatory term to signify the submission that the person experiences as they give away control of their pleasure.

Submissive: The less dominant role in a relationship. Traditionally a role taken by the woman, but in a chastity relationship this role is taken by the slave.

Tube: The long, tube shaped part of a chastity cage. This part covers the man’s penis.

Advanced Chastity Phrases

Once you move beyond your first cage and your play becomes more involved, you might start to come across some of these terms.

Barrel Lock: A type of locking mechanism found on chastity cages. Cages with barrel locks don’t require external padlocks.

Bear: hairy, manly man. Often larger. Usually a Mistress’s lover rather than a slave.

Brat: A chastity slave that acts out and tries to take control of a situation from their dominant.

Break: Often used in the phrases “chastity break” or “FLR break”. Taking a step back from your chastity pledge for a period of time.

Bull: A man who has sex with other men’s partners.

Bussy: A feminizing term for a man’s anus.

Chastity Dynamic: A commonly used phrase to describe the kind of chastity relationship you have. For example: “A laid back chastity dynamic” or “A very controlling chastity dynamic”.

Chastity Shrinkage: Used to describe the shrinking of the penis while wearing a chastity cage. This isn’t permanent, and after leaving the cage off for a few days the penis will return to normal.

Clitty: A feminizing term used to describe a man’s caged penis. Can be used in a humiliating way, or to affirm a sissy’s performance.

Cuckold: A man whose partner has sex with other men.

Dominatrix: Usually a professional who allows customers to explore different submissive BDSM fetishes and fantasies. Typically will work in sessions, rather than having an ongoing relationship with a submissive.

Downsizing: Changing to a smaller cage that fits better after experiencing chastity shrinkage.

Edging: Masturbating until just before climax then stopping. After a short break, the process is repeated.

Everyday Cage: A chastity device that is designed to be comfortable for long term wear.

Female Led Relationship: A part of the chastity lifestyle where the female (usually Mistress or keyholder) becomes the dominant force in the relationship. This will usually involve most of the decision making such as shopping, trips, activities.

Femdom: A commonly used term to describe a relationship with a female dominant.

Feminization: An umbrella term to describe things a slave or Mistress can do to make the slave appear more feminine.

Friends With Benefits: Friends who have sex with each other without being in a relationship. A Mistress will often have friends with benefits.

Ghost Dick: Feeling like an imaginary penis is attached to your body, in a similar way to ghost limbs after amputations. Slaves sometimes experience this when using a strap on to pleasure their Mistress.

Humiliation/Humiliation Fetish: Taking sexual pleasure in being humiliated. Usually a Mistress will humiliate a slave both for his enjoyment, and to reinforce her dominance.

Jerk Off Instruction: A form of ASMR where someone provides instructions to a man on how to masturbate. A Mistress may use this as a way of teasing or edging her slave.

Keyholding Service: A service provided to hold a slave’s chastity cage keys for a set period of time. The slave pays a fee and posts his key to the service, then at the end of the agreed time they post it back.

Long Distance Relationship: A relationship with someone who lives far away. In male chastity, this will usually involve the use of app controlled chastity devices or alternative keyholding solutions.

Milking: The process of stimulating a man’s prostate gland to produce prostatic fluid.

Pegging: The use of a strap on to allow the Mistress to penetrate her slave anally.

Permanent Chastity: A common aim for slaves. Permanent chastity is the idea that they will be wearing their cage and following the rules of their pledge forever. This does still involve breaks for various reasons.

Prince Albert Piercing: A genital piercing that is commonly combined with a chastity cage for extra security.

Professional Mistress: A Mistress who offers her services to any slave willing to pay for them. These can vary from a simple keyholding service, to a fully fledged Mistress experience. Often professional Mistresses will have multiple slaves at the same time.

Prostate Gland: A gland found in a man’s body that can be stimulated to provide sexual pleasure, or to excrete excess prostatic fluid.

Prostate Orgasm: An orgasm achieved only with prostate stimulation.

Ruined Orgasm: A common theme in chastity relationships where the dominant will provide sexual stimulation to bring the submissive to the edge of orgasm, then suddenly stop.

Sissification: A more extreme form of feminization that aims to turn the slave into a sissy.

Sissy: A man who takes on the role of a female, usually in an exaggerated way. This includes wearing feminine clothing, changing the way he speaks, and generally acting the way a woman would.

Solo Chastity: A form of chastity where a man does everything solo. This usually means he needs to take on elements of both the dominant and submissive at the same time, or he may simply wear cages because he enjoys it or to reduce masturbation.

Fetishes and Roleplay

One of the best things about male chastity is how many other fetishes you can explore while wearing your cage. Here’s a list of some you’ve probably heard of, and some you probably haven’t.

Aftercare: A period of time that should be given after BDSM play to allow participants to share their feelings, process what happened, and feel cared for and appreciated.

Bondage: A fetish where ropes are used to physically restrain one partner during sexual activity.

Cock and Ball Torture: A fetish where a man enjoys having pain and suffering inflicted to his penis and testicles.

Electrostimulation: A fetish where pleasure or pain is provided by small electric shocks.

Hard Limits: Fetishes or activities that are completely off limits for one partner. Hard limits should be discussed before any BDSM play.

Impact Play: Sexual play that involves hitting or spanking. Sometimes canes, paddles or riding crops are used.

Masochism: Taking sexual pleasure in receiving pain.

Predicament Bondage: A form of bondage where the submissive is tied in such a way that they can move between two different positions, both uncomfortable in some way.

Sadism: Taking sexual pleasure in the giving of pain to another.

Safe Word: A word chosen before BDSM play which completely stops the play if used. The word should be something that you don’t commonly say.

Scene: A word used to describe any BDSM scenario. Each scene will be planned out in advance, and follow its own set of rules.

Small Penis Humiliation: A fetish that involves humiliating a man based on the size of his penis. Fits well with chastity as the penis will naturally shrink while wearing a cage.

Soft Limits: Fetishes or activities that someone isn’t comfortable with right now, but might be open to trying in the future.

Sounding/Urethral Sounding: A sexual practice that involves inserting rods or plugs into the penis. Some cages come with sounding tubes built in.

Temperature Play/Fire and Ice: Using hot and cold temperatures to provide sexual stimulation. In chastity, these can also be used to make the slave feel uncomfortable or challenged.

Voyeurism: A fetish where someone enjoys being watched. In chastity this could be things like the slave being put on show for all of the Mistress’s friends to enjoy.

Sex Phrases

While much of chastity involves the denial of sex (particularly for the slave), sexual activity is still an important part of any pledge. Here’s a rundown on some of the things you might do in the bedroom.

Bottom: The submissive partner in a sexual encounter.

Deepthroating: The act of taking a penis into your mouth so deep that it goes into your throat.

Double Penetration: Experiencing penetrative sex in both the anus and vagina, or experiencing penetrative sex with two things in the same opening.

Guiche: The area of skin between a man’s scrotum and anus, or a woman’s vagina and anus.

Rimming: Oral stimulation of the anus.

Squirting: When a woman ejaculates during orgasm.

Switch: When the two partners switch roles. The dominant becomes submissive, and the submissive becomes dominant.

Top: The dominant partner in a sexual encounter.

Chastity Acronyms

With more discussion of male chastity than ever taking place online, many acronyms now exist to provide a quick way to describe various parts of the fetish. Below are some of the most common you’ll see.

ABDL: Adult baby diaper lover. (Someone who enjoys roleplaying as a baby.)

AR: Anal rimming. Ass rimming.

ASP: Adult service provider.

BCD: Behind closed doors.

BDSM: An umbrella term for many fetishes that involve bondage, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. Often just used to describe more “hardcore” sex practices and fetishes.

BLS: Ball licking and sucking.

CBT: Cock and ball torture.

CD: Cross dressing.

CNC: Consensual non-consent. (A type of play that simulates non-consent, but still uses safe words to end the play if necessary.)

D/s: Dominant and submissive. Usually written with a small “s” to symbolize the submission.

DDlb: Daddy Dom, little boy. (A type of roleplay where the dominant partner plays the role of “daddy” and the submissive plays the role of the “little boy”.)

DDlg: Daddy Dom, little girl. (A type of roleplay where the dominant partner plays the role of “daddy” and the submissive plays the role of the “little girl”.)

DP: Double penetration.

DT: Deepthroat.

EMA: Extra marital affairs.

FE: Female ejaculation.

FLR: Female-led relationship.

FWB: Friends with benefits.

GFE: Girlfriend experience.

GS: Golden shower.

GSM: G-spot massage.

ISO: In search of.

JO or J/O: Jerk off. (Masturbate)

JOI: Jerk off instruction.

KH: Keyholder.

M/s: Mistress/slave or Master/slave. A type of D/s relationship.

MDlb: Mommy Domme, little boy. (A type of roleplay where the dominant partner plays the role of “mommy” and the submissive plays the role of the “little boy”.)

MDlg: Mommy Domme, little girl. (A type of roleplay where the dominant partner plays the role of “mommy” and the submissive plays the role of the “little girl”.)

MFF: A threesome with one man and two women. (Can be extended for group sex situations.)

MMF: A threesome with two men and one woman. (Can be extended for group sex situations.)

NSA: No strings attached.

O/Os: Orgasm/orgasms.

ONS: One night stand.

PIV: Penis in vagina.

PW: Pussy whipped.

REQ: Used to show that a post or email contains a request.

REV: Used to show that a post or email contains a review.

RP: Roleplay.

S&M: Sadism and masochism.

SO: Significant other. (Husband, wife, life partner, etc.)

SOP: Standard operating procedure.

SP: Service provider.

STD: Sexually transmitted disease.

STI: Sexually transmitted infection.

STR: Short term relationship.

TG: Transgender.

TS: Transexual.

TV: Transvestite.

LDR: Long distance relationship.

HFO: Hands-free orgasm.

Know any terms or acronyms that we missed? Let us know! Language is constantly evolving, and while we’ve tried to cover as many of the terms you’ll need as we can (and keep the list as up to date as possible), all it takes is a new phrase catching on to leave you confused all over again.