The Art of Humiliation

What could be more humiliating than locking away your penis in a cage and handing over the keys?

Well, plenty…

Imagine being ridiculed for having a small penis. Imagine having to ask permission to buy a coffee. Imagine having to watch your Mistress have sex with another man.

Many slaves don’t need to imagine these things, as they form a core part of their chastity experience.

Welcome to the humiliation fetish…

People Like to Be Humiliated?

Some people don’t just like to be humiliated. They love it. And it’s not difficult to understand why.

I’m sure most of you who already wear a cage felt a little pang of shame as the lock clicked shut. But it’s also exciting.

Humiliation play takes that feeling further (in some cases much, much further) and turns it into something that some slaves crave.

Interested? Well, let’s begin…

Open Communication Is Crucial

Before you get too excited about all the ways to humiliate a slave though, there’s something else we should discuss first.

Communication.

Just like bondage or pain play, communication is a crucial element of humiliation play that can’t be ignored.

In the moment, being humiliated can be fun and exciting. But it can also cross the line at times, so you need to be able to speak up and let your partner know how you feel.

This kind of play could also have a lasting impact on your mental health (which we’ll get into later), so an ongoing dialogue is critical to make sure everyone stays happy and healthy.

To begin with, you might ask some simple questions like:

• What kind of humiliation are you interested in?
• Do you have any red lines or hard limits that are off the table?
• Do you want to make humiliation an ongoing part of your lifestyle, or restrict it to certain times?
• Do you want humiliation to be pre-planned, or spontaneous?

Figuring these things out with your partner can give you a solid foundation for your play, and highlight areas where your fantasies might not line up.

Don’t forget the safe word!

All BDSM and fetish play should have an established safe word so the play can be stopped quickly at any point.

When, Where and How? – Humiliation Ground Rules

With your tentative initial discussions out of the way, the next thing you’ll wonder is when, where and how can you start to try out humiliation play.

You should have already have a rough idea of the when and the where, but now you can start nailing down some more specifics. Ask some more specific questions like:

• If public humiliation is off limits, should it be kept completely at home or are locations like restaurants or libraries allowed (as long as nobody sees)?
• If the sessions need to be pre-planned, how often will they take place?
• If spontaneous public humiliation is an option, are there any places or people where the fetish should be avoided (like work, or in front of parents)?

A clearer picture should be forming at this point. The only question left is how are you going to explore humiliation, and this one’s the tough one.

If you’ve never done this kind of thing before, then we usually recommend something simple and short. Give yourselves a taste of the experience, then discuss how you felt and how you’d like it to change in the future.

A Beginner’s Humiliation Scenario

Men who wear chastity cages are giving up their penis – the symbol of their masculinity. So lean into this further with something simple that plays into that dynamic.

Give the slave the sexiest, frilliest underwear you can find, and have him model them around the house. Wearing them outside the house can intensify the effect.

Let’s be honest. This scenario sounds quite basic. But the majority of men will never have worn women’s panties.

Being forced to not only wear them, but to “prance around” in them can stir exactly the feelings we’re looking for when we explore humiliation. Adding some small comments can also give them a taste of verbal humiliation. A simple “maybe we should shave your legs first next time” can send his heart into overdrive!

This scenario doesn’t need to last long, but once it’s over it’s important to chat about how it went. What parts did you both like? What parts didn’t work so well?

Maybe you’ll discover that forced feminization is something you want to explore further!

Finding Your Humiliation Style

After your taster session, your mind is probably filled with ideas for further play. But even if it isn’t, you can find plenty of stories from other kinksters who’ve tried their hand at humiliation.

To help you along, here’s some of the more common forms of humiliation that chastity enthusiasts lean towards.

Small Penis Humiliation

The premiere form of humiliation for many chastity slaves, small penis humiliation is exactly what it sounds like: Making fun of a slave’s small penis.

Sometimes shortened to SPH, this kind of humiliation is a natural addition to chastity play. Many slaves think that their penises get smaller while wearing a cage, so why not ridicule them for it?

You’ll also find some overlap between SPH and cuckolding or cheating as forms of humiliation, as a Mistress seeks out men “more capable of satisfying her”.

Forced Feminization (and Sissification)

The loss of masculinity is a common theme in chastity, as the Mistress takes on the role of dominant partner. Both forced feminization and sissy play take this a step further, gradually (or suddenly) transforming the slave into a feminine version of themselves.

Some slaves enjoy this kind of play, so naturally won’t find it that humiliating. But some aren’t really into it, so making them wear frilly dresses and make up can be a perfect way to give them the humiliation they crave.

Sexual Humiliation

Sex is a part of male chastity that’s often overlooked, but it’s also ripe with opportunities for humiliation. The shape this takes will depend massively on your own sexual preferences.

Sexual humiliation could include:

• Edging the slave until he begs.
• Ruining his orgasms repeatedly.
• Making the slave watch while his Mistress has sex with another man.
• Forcing the slave to clean up after his Mistress has sex with another man.
• Being tied up or blindfolded.
• Making the slave take part in gay sex (especially if he’s been expecting “penetration” and ends up being the one penetrated).
• Expecting “orgasm night”, and being forced to give Mistress an orgasm instead of receiving one.

There are lots of options in the bedroom, and lots of overlap with other fetishes which can be humiliating. You’ll probably just need to test the waters and figure out what works for you.

Cuckolding (and Cheating)

We’ve already touched on the idea of using cuckolding or cheating to humiliate a slave, but for some slaves this can be the main method.

Fulfilling the basic needs of a Mistress and her second partner, going on three person dates, or even cleaning up after them sexually are all powerful forms of humiliation.

However this kind of play straddles the difficult line between fetish and abuse, so shouldn’t be attempted by beginners. If you do become involved in a cuckold relationship, make sure everyone is able to make their feelings known, and that it can be stopped if necessary.

Financial Humiliation

Imagine having to ask permission for something as simple as buying a coffee. That’s the reality for slaves who are humiliated financially!

Regardless of who is bringing the money into the relationship, the Mistress gets complete control over the purse strings. She can flex her muscles by telling her slave “no” in public places, or forcing him to “work for his money” by doing humiliating tasks to fund his purchases.

Again, financial domination creates a scenario that is ripe for abuse. Make sure you fully trust the other person before trying this kind of play.

Petplay

In a similar way to sissification, petplay aims to turn the slave into the perfect pet. This could include not being allowed to speak, eating from a bowl, or sleeping in a bed on the floor.

Again some slaves love this kind of play, so it’ll only work as a form of humiliation if they’re actually embarrassed doing it. But for those slaves, this can be one of the most humiliating experiences of all.

Verbal Humiliation

We’ve left verbal humiliation till last, and for a good reason. Unlike the other forms of humiliation where you might choose one or two to explore at a time, verbal humiliation is nearly always a part of every session.

Even just a few derogatory or snide comments can take an experience from mildly embarrassing to complete humiliation!

But not everyone has a way with words. Sometimes saying the wrong thing can completely ruin the mood, or even cross the line and offend the other person.

Early on in your experiments with humiliation you’ll probably get it wrong at times, and that’s completely fine! Over time you’ll figure out what things work and what don’t.

Just don’t be afraid to say something. Silent humiliation is nowhere near as effective (most of the time)!

Is Humiliation Play Safe?

Almost all kinks carry some kind of risk, and humiliation is no different. But while impact play or bondage might carry a physical risk, humiliation play more often carries a mental risk.

You can probably think of at least one time in your life that you were completely and utterly humiliated. Remember how that felt, and think about the prospect of reliving those feelings again, and again, and again.

It can be tough.

The thick skinned among us might be able to handle experiencing these feelings on a daily basis, but a lot of us can’t.

Unfortunately, you won’t really know until you actually try it.

What we can advise is caution. If you already have some mental health considerations then you could find humiliation play difficult. These could include:

• Low self esteem.
• Depression.
• Anxiety.
• Difficulty controlling emotions such as anger.
• Difficulty talking about your feelings with other people.
• Lack of self confidence.
• Problems making decisions.
• A history of abusive relationships.

Whatever your circumstances though, humiliation play can be tough. Aftercare is a crucial part of the process.

Whether this is simply spending some time together cuddling afterwards, or analyzing every part of the session in detail, make sure you put aside some time for aftercare.

Will You Add Humiliation Play to Your Pledge?

If you’re here on Total Chastity, then there’s a good chance you’re already wearing (or planning to wear) a chastity device. This is already a humiliating act that you could be experiencing every single day.

If that’s as far as the fetish ever goes for you, that’s completely fine! But if you want to explore the things humiliation play has to offer then we hope this introduction has been helpful.