Match Your Cage Challenge to Your Chastity Motivation
There’s a lot to love about wearing a cock cage. The feeling of control over your pleasure, the restrictive sensations of the cage, the way it looks. Over time, the initial desires that drove you to lock up can wane or change completely. When a shift or a drop in your chastity motivation arrives, a challenge or goal is useful to double down on your efforts.
Chastity Challenges Are a Lot Like Sports Coaching
Coaches keep their athletes on the right path. They use techniques and mindsets that help an athlete lift their performance and achieve more. A coach’s job is to remind their charges why they’re doing the hard yards in the first place.
Chastity motivation and challenges are intrinsically linked. Understand one, and you’ll get way more enjoyment and satisfaction out of the other.
Start deepening your understanding by thinking about why you keep yourself locked in a cage. How has this changed over the weeks, months, or years? And, on those tough days when temptation threatens to get the better of you, what coaching-style challenges are you using to keep you going?
Let’s define (or redefine) why you’re living the lifestyle.
What’s Your Motivation?
There are 6 reasons why someone locks up. Which one (or 2 or 3) do you identify with?
You’re submissive. This is the case for most caged men. Relinquishing control to a Dominant partner or keyholder who has the final say in how they experience pleasure and what happens to their genitals is a turn on. Additionally, giving one person such power is also a clear sign of trust and devotion.
You want to feel humiliated. Growing up as a boy, it’s not unusual to be told to “leave that alone,” or to “stop playing with it,” leading to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Locking up and being denied access to a part of yourself can evoke similar feelings, which some people find arousing.
Society also attaches a power narrative to penises. By taking away your use of it you’re “less of a man.” This can stir feelings of humiliation and embarrassment that feel pleasurable.
You want to control your libido. Resisting what’s between your legs can be tough. For some men, the adage ‘he thinks more with his cock than his head’ rings uncomfortably true. Physically caging it can lead to greater control and self-discipline. Focusing on pleasure with purpose can make for greater enjoyment when the cage is removed.
Masturbating less can also free up time and creative headspace so you can explore other hobbies and interests. In short, you get to pour the energy you’d usually devote to jerking off into something else.
You like the look and feel. Sometimes the motivation for locking up is auto-erotic. Enjoying the restrictive feeling of a cage and being aroused by how it looks can be enough to embrace the lifestyle.
Your religious or cultural beliefs. A lot of what we discuss on the TC blog centers on cage-wearing to satisfy a sexual, aesthetic, or kink need. But for some, wearing a device is driven by their beliefs.
If you recognize your single or multiple motivations readily, get cracking on choosing your challenge. If it’s not clear why you’re wearing a cage, take some time to explore what’s driving you to lock up.
Try writing down or even listing your motivations. You could even keep a chastity journal for a few days or weeks. These reflections may help you to define your true motivations, making it easier to set a realistic chastity goal.
Remote Controlled Electro-Shock Chastity Cage
Chastity Challenges That Complement Your Motivations
A useful chastity challenge is both achievable and a stretch. It has to be doable, but it should also push you to experience something new. Staying static in your chastity journey is fine—if you like what you’ve got going, why change it? But when your motivation is low or you’re questioning whether you’re done with the lifestyle, taking one of these challenges can spur you on. And may even help you discover something new about yourself.
Set a Personal Best
Your motivation: Greater control.
This is a good challenge to set if permanent chastity is your eventual goal. And there are 2 ways you can approach it.
The first way is to set a target number of hours, days, or weeks that you’ll wear your cage. This should be longer than you’ve gone before, but not crazy long. (Failing will only leave you feeling demoralized.) Committing to a set amount of time gives you a deadline. You know when you’re coming out. And you can mark the date on your calendar. Seeing the exit date approaching can help you stay focused when the urge to unlock early strikes.
Alternatively, you could approach the challenge day by day. Lock yourself up on day one, and then each morning say the mantra:
“Today, I’m keeping my cage on.”
Chunking your challenge down into 24-hour periods can feel easier than committing to a larger block of time. The number of days you’re locked will accumulate quickly. And (hopefully) you’ll find that once you’re through that precarious first full week of chastity, the desire to escape diminishes as your motivation and your winning streak grow.
Wear It Out and About
Your motivation: Humiliation, greater control, or auto-eroticism.
Wearing your cage at home is a good way to:
- Familiarize yourself with a new cage.
- Understand how to get in and out of it.
- Get a feel for how it moves with your body.
- Work out if it’s a good fit or what adjustments you may need.
But once you’re across all of that, challenging your commitment to chastity means wearing your cage more than around the home or during play.
Depending on who’s setting the rules—you or your keyholder—you might start slowly. Think about all the places you go, from daily dashes to the shops to occasional dinners with your in-laws. Create a list from base camp to pinnacle, and work your way up.
Increase Your Tolerance to Erotic Stimulation
Your motivation: Greater control, auto-eroticism, or submission.
The ability to orgasm multiple times is a luxury often attributed to women. But, newsflash, in case you don’t already know, men can train themselves to be multi-orgasmic too. So, for this challenge, you might aim to withstand stimulation for 5-15 minutes without ejaculating and in that time hope to achieve 2-3 orgasms.
Wondering how you can orgasm multiple times? We need to dip into a quick bit of sex ed.
Chances are you don’t need me to tell you what it means to ejaculate. But for the benefit of the tape ejaculating is the release of semen. It usually happens at the same time as an orgasm. However, it’s possible to orgasm without releasing semen, because an orgasm is simply and specifically the rhythmic, muscular contractions you feel in the pelvic region when you reach the peak of sexual stimulation.
Ejaculating and orgasming are not one and the same thing. You can actually orgasm multiple times, without releasing your load.
Orgasming without ejaculating takes practice. And stamina. You can build up your stamina and tolerance for stimulation using a method called edging. This is where you get close to climax (alone or with your partner) but stop the stimulation before you tip over the edge. You then allow yourself to come back down, regain your composure, and restart the stimulation.
Edging is about gaining control of your climax. It teaches you to differentiate the sensations of pleasure from the feelings you have when you release. As you become more familiar and skillful with the practice, you can allow yourself to lean into those orgasmic sensations without the need to release.
Learn to Accept a Ruined Orgasm
Your motivation: Humiliation or submission.
Ruined orgasms are related to orgasm control, but they’re different. When you’re controlling your orgasms you are deliberately holding back. With a ruined orgasm, there’s no desire on your behalf to stop. It’s your Dominant who decides to withdraw that pleasure from you, deliberately leaving you feeling bereft and short-changed.
This sounds like a rough deal, but in a Dom/sub relationship it can be a very intimate part of the power dynamic. Submissives may have it included as part of their chastity training, so they learn how to withstand this torment and accept that their pleasure is wholly in the hands of another.
Expand Your Collection
Your motivation: Auto-eroticism
Collectors of, well… anything… guitars, cars, stamps or, indeed cock cages will probably know (and agree with) the saying: the correct number of collectibles you need is always N + 1. So if auto-eroticism is your driving force because you like how the cage feels and looks your challenge is to grow your collection, widening your experience and knowledge of as many cages as possible.
Depending on your dedication to the cause, you share your experience in blogs or the reviews section on forums. (Or as customer reviews on the sites you bought from.)
Find a Dominant or Keyholder
Your motivation: Submission, greater control.
Practicing under the guidance of a Dominant or keyholder can introduce new ideas around chastity play that you may not yet have thought of. For example, how you’re held accountable, the pleasure of being teased when locked, or the warm feeling you get when you successfully complete a challenge set by your Dom.
Exploring what it feels like to hand the power of your pleasure to someone else might be challenging enough. But as you explore the relationship between Dom and sub, you will find that often, the role of a Dominant is to help you achieve your erotic ambitions. They may have ideas and suggestions on how you can do this which may never have occurred to you as someone who self-locks. A Dominant will also be there to support and guide you through the most challenging times.
Share With Us What’s Driving You
People arrive at the chastity lifestyle by different paths and for different reasons. If you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear about what motivates you to wear a cage, and the goals and challenges you’re working towards.
