Back in the Cage. Eight (And a Half) Ideas to Reset Your Chastity Mindset

Being unlocked can be a real mind fuck. When you’re locked, it’s impossible not to harbor thoughts and fantasies about getting out of the cage. When you’re unlocked, you know what’s coming—a return to the cage and the dreaded day one.

Whether your experience of sweet freedom lasts a few hours, a couple of days, or as long as a week, there are ways to make the transition from free willy back to caged cock less of a shock.

(Almost) 9 Ideas That Soften the Blow of Locking Back Up

Relocking can feel daunting beforehand but is actually very manageable. It’s mainly a matter of reframing your thinking. And that’s what these 8.5 tips will help you do.

1. Leave the Ring On

Only remove the tube. Leave the ring in place so that technically, you’ve not removed the device entirely. The ring reminds you that your freedom is temporary and you’ll return to your chastity pledge soon. (Or whenever your Keyholder sees fit.)

Extra tip: If you choose to leave the ring on, follow your usual chastity cage hygiene routine to ensure your play stays safe.

2. Achieve Your Free Willy Goals

Chastity challenges and motivations are so often discussed in relation to being locked. But I think it’s just as important to set out-of-the-cage goals. In the days leading up to your release, answer this question.

What do you want to achieve when you’re free? List your intentions and wants.

Keep things real by making sure the length of your list reflects the length of time you’ll be free. For example, you may only have 1 or 2 things noted down if you’re unlocked for a few hours. But you might set 4 or 5 goals if you’ve got a week.

At the end of your unlocked period, you can look at your checked-off list with satisfaction. All that’s left is to get back into the cage. Easy.

3. Write and Recite a Mantra

Write down your reason for practicing chastity in the first place and use it as your back-to-the-cage mantra. One redditor explains that he repeats, “My dick is not my own. I’m not allowed to touch it, so I have to lock it.” Reciting this makes it easier for him to accept his relocking.

If your chastity pledge is about more than you, then your mantra might focus on the benefits it brings to the other person. For example, acknowledge what they get from your pledge to shift your mindset back to being chaste.

4. Set Your Next Release Date

Knowing how long your dick will be imprisoned gives you an end date. Something to work towards and look forward to, so mark it on your calendar and count down the days if you must.

If you have a Keyholder you’ll have to negotiate any boundaries around extending or changing the date. For example, would you be comfortable if they added a few extra days as a form of chastity punishment? If not, you must communicate that.

Devilishly Small Metal Male Chastity Cage

5. Remind Yourself of Chastity’s Benefits

Talk to your partner, Keyholder, or Mistress about all the things you both enjoy about chastity. If you self-lock, record yourself saying each benefit of chastity that’s important and relevant to your journey. To get you started, some of the benefits of chastity include:

• Increased focus—on your partner or other interests.
• Increased pleasure as masturbation and sex become more meaningful.
• More time doing other things you enjoy besides masturbating.
• Your partner’s satisfaction, as seeing you caged pleases them.

6. Lean Into Your D/S Dynamic

If you’re in a female led relationship and have a strong Dominant-submissive dynamic, then draw on that bond. Being submissive means resigning yourself to another and accepting their wants. (Within pre-agreed boundaries.) Before recaging, re-engage with that mindset. Remind yourself that you’re subservient to another. If they desire to put a cage on you, then that’s what’s going to happen. There’s not much you can do about it.

7. Make It Special

Some guys and couples make a big thing of putting the cage on. In some cases, it’s a ceremony or a ritual. So if you’re feeling hesitant, make relocking more of an event to help you get back into the chastity mindset.

For example, perhaps you’ll take a relaxing bath or shower before putting it on. If you have multiple cages, you might spend time choosing one and carefully cleaning it. If you’re really into it, then maybe you’ll light candles, play some soft music, and (if available) have your keyholder put it back in place for you.

Set your re-locking scene as you see fit. Making it memorable and something to look forward to can definitely make it easier.

8. Request Less Free Time

Chastity works best when the lines of communication are fully open. You and your partner should check in regularly with each other to talk about what’s working and what isn’t. If the mindshift from caged to uncaged and back again is always a struggle, then tell your partner. They may assume that you love your time out of the cage and crave to be free. But we know that being locked can help us feel secure.

If this sounds familiar, then your best course of action is to ask your partner to decrease how long you're unlocked for or how often they unlock you. Adapt your practice, so you’re not having to constantly switch your mindset.

One Final Tip: Choose Something New

Mental strength, perspective, and mindset are your most powerful allies when returning to the cage. But if you still struggle to get excited about relocking, then perhaps you need a more tangible solution.

Slipping into something new that you’ll be excited to try, such as the Sevanda Urethral Sounding Chastity Cage, might be the encouragement you need.