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Female Led Relationships (FLR) and Chastity

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Premium Chastity Lock and Key

Do you wish someone would make all the hard decisions or you? Do you like women who know what they want? Do you like following instructions, rather than giving them?

If so, then a female led relationship might be just what you need.

Female Led Relationships: What Are They?

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Who wears the pants in the relationship?”, but have you ever really given it much thought? Typically, the person who wears the pants will take on a more dominant role; making decisions for the couple, managing money, spends more time with their friends while their partner stays at home. There are plenty more signs, but it shouldn’t take long to figure out for most relationships.

Traditionally, the man takes on this role. He’s the breadwinner, going out to work while the wife stays home to look after the kids. He does the “manly” jobs like DIY while she takes care of washing and cleaning. He goes out when he wants, and comes home when he feels like it.

However, in our modern age, this dynamic is shifting. More and more commonly, a powerful woman takes the lead in the relationship. This is what we refer to when we talk about “female led relationships”.

What Type of FLR is Right For You?

Just because you’ve decided that the woman is going to be in charge, that doesn’t mean all the decisions are already made. You need to think about the type of female led relationship you want to have. This can vary from something barely noticeable, to full on female domination (femdom).

Almost Equal

The lightest form of FLR is virtually indistinguishable from a standard, equal relationship. Most things are shared between the two partners, but the woman will take on slightly more responsibility with some decisions. This might be due to personality differences, a woman who earns more money, or just a very laid back man.

Slightly Dominant

In a slightly dominant relationship, things might still seem relatively normal from the outside. Behind the scenes though, the woman will usually have the final say on most decisions. Often this happens when a man is particularly passive, or if a woman has controlling tendencies. This kind of dynamic will rarely lead to any kind of kink play, but will play a large role in the day to day lives of the couple.

Very Dominant

Once a female led relationship starts having clear roles, it begins to cross into the realm of very dominant. The woman will be clearly in control of most aspects of the couples lives, in a similar way to a man would have been in the past. This is often the point where couples begin experimenting more with BDSM, and in particular the dominant and submissive roles. It’s also where you’ll start seeing chastity cages used as a form of control.

Total Domination (Femdom)

When a man cedes all control in the relationship to his female partner, it is commonly referred to as Femdom. Usually these relationships are heavily influenced by BDSM practise, and men will often take on an even more submissive role such as slave or pet. Women taking this kind of control will often humiliate their partners (sometimes with chastity clips or chastity devices that make their penis look like a clitoris), inflict pain (both physical and emotional), deny orgasms, and may even make him a cuckold. Meanwhile the man is there to serve her every need, and follow her orders to the letter if he wishes to avoid punishment.

The Illusion of Domination

While the entire fetish of a female led relationship often involves a man being dominated by a woman, it’s important to note that he should never forced into it. Each part of the relationship should be discussed and agreed on in advance, especially as it becomes more and more extreme. There should also be a clear way for a man to opt out of any part that he’s not comfortable with, as well as a way to bring the entire endeavor to a close.

Ironically, the need for consent becomes greater the more extreme the domination. A woman with a controlling personality might take over the dominant role in the relationship without her partner’s permission, but more extreme steps like locking his cock in a cage will certainly need his permission and cooperation to become a reality.

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The Birdcage Chastity Device

Male Chastity and Female Led Relationships: Where Does It Fit In?

As you’d probably expect, male chastity and female led relationships are a match made in heaven. That’s not to say that chastity can’t be enjoyed by gay couples, or that a straight man can’t have a male keyholder, but generally chastity couples tend to consist of a male slave and a female Mistress.

On the scale of dominance we discussed above, you’ll most commonly see chastity start to be involved around the very dominant stage, although even some vanilla couples can enjoy it as an occasional thing. In those cases, the woman only takes on a dominant role during the play, rather than full time.

Adding chastity to a FLR will provide a unique form of control. Not only will the woman control decisions over things like activities and finances, but she’ll even be able to decide when her man gets an erection, orgasms, and when he’s allowed freedom. After a while locked up, a man will tend to be more attentive to his partner’s needs, which fits naturally with relationships more heavily female dominated.

The more extreme you get, the better it fits! Chastity lends itself naturally to humiliation, edging, pain and punishment, and many of the other dynamics a dominant woman might want to explore. Meanwhile, for the tamer couples, chastity can be a fun experiment, providing the woman with an opportunity to take command without the pressure of it being a permanent thing.

Natalia Author Profile Picture


A secretary turned Mistress who had never even heard of male chastity, but got sucked into the community and now makes a living writing blogs and guides to help both slaves and Mistresses alike. She first discovered chastity at the age of 25, and has been a full time dominant for the last 3 years.

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