An Introduction to Male Chastity and Making It Part of Your Everyday Life
Everyone who’s into male chastity has a reason for liking it and a motive for practicing it. But what are those motivations?
Practicing male chastity might be motivated by:
- Power dynamics, such as being in a Dominant/submissive relationship or a female led relationship.
- The denial of sexual pleasure and the consequent build-up of erotic tension before indulging in the feeling of release once unlocked.
- The opportunity to explore self-control.
- The desire to explore this fetish alongside others that complement it, such as BDSM, cock and ball torture, cuckolding, or sissification.
Wearing a cage can feel good. And at the start of the chastity journey there’s certainly an erotic thrill that comes with putting it on. While this thrill never really disappears, it does change. After years of being in the practice, the act of putting on your cage can feel as natural as pulling on your pants—it’s part of your everyday routine. In this introduction to male chastity, I’ll explore how male chastity is different from many other fetishes. Because this is one that you can fit seamlessly into your day-to-day life.
I’ll explain how that works, and offer some cage suggestions fit for different purposes. But if you’re box-fresh to cock cages, let’s start with the basics.
What Is Male Chastity?
Chastity means abstaining from any sort of sexual pleasure, be it manual, oral, or penetrative with a partner or solo. Male chastity involving a cock cage means locking up the penis in a device that stops the wearer (or anyone else) from touching or stimulating the penis. Cages also make it real hard (sometimes impossible) to get an erection.
Beyond this, what male chastity looks like depends on the needs and desires of the person and their keyholder. (If they have one.) Here are some of the variables that can define male chastity.
- Whether the person in chastity has or wants a keyholder, and who that keyholder is. (Partner or professional Dominant.)
- If they want to explore solo chastity, by holding their own keys and controlling their lock up and release.
- When they wear their cage, for example, only at home, all day, take it off at night, etc.
- Whether orgasm denial or orgasm control (ruined orgasms) are part of the play.
- If they intend to explore other fetishes alongside their chastity fetish.
In short, male chastity is a very flexible fetish that you can make your own.
What It Feels Like to Wear a Cock Cage
Putting a device on for the first time can feel weird. It’s impossible to ignore. And for some, this is part of the thrill. Guys who have been practicing chastity for years sometimes still relish the constant feeling of it being there. It’s a reminder of their pledge and servitude to their (usually female) dominant partner.
If you’re entirely new to the fetish, it’s a good idea to begin by wearing it for short periods. Just until you get used to it. An hour here or there for the first few days is a helpful way to go. Then, as you get more familiar with the cage and get used to your cleaning routine, increase the time gradually.
Chafing and cage rub, (especially when wearing one overnight) are common problems for new and well-versed members of the community. Night-time cage wear is a completely different prospect as you’re contending with involuntary erections. I suggest building up to overnight wear as part of training for your first week in chastity.
Chastity Cage Styles
Cock cages come in different materials and styles. Here are some of the most common ones you’re likely to find.
- Silicone chastity cages – These are good if you’re new to the fetish, as silicone, plastic, and even rubber cages, are more flexible and generally more comfortable to wear.
- Metal chastity cages – Made from stainless steel, these will feel heavy, especially at first, but they’re hardwearing and last longer than plastic or silicone options.
- Small chastity cages – Reports of chastity shrinkage and the need to downsize aren’t uncommon, and usually occurs as a result of long-term lock up.
- Sissy chastity cages – Ideal for those wanting an effeminate-look to explore forced feminization alongside their chastity fetish. Pink cages and designs that minimize the penis, such as inverted cages, are popular devices for the sissy-inclined chastity wearer.
- BDSM and pain-play cages - For those who like some extra sensation with their cage play, there are electro chastity cages that deliver small, stimulating electro pulse to the penis and testicles, urethral plug cages for sounding, and spiked cages to dissuade any sort of erection.
Having to take your device off every time you need to go pee would be awkward and time-consuming. And sometimes impossible because your keyholder isn’t around to unlock the cage. Many styles have a hole or small opening at the end to make this easier. This allows for some airflow (we all know it can get sweaty down there) and means the device doesn’t have to come off every time you go to the bathroom.
Ultimately, choosing a cage will come down to your motivation for wearing it, your lifestyle, and what conclusions you’ve come to about how you’d like to enjoy the fetish.
Shopping Tips - How to Buy the Best Chastity Cage for You
Life would be simple if picking the best chastity cage meant choosing the one that looks the nicest. Unfortunately, there are a few other things to consider. And wielding a tape measure is essential to doing the task properly.
The most important thing when buying a chastity cage is knowing its size and the size of your own package. Focusing on size is vital for finding a comfortable fit and minimizing the risk of blue balls.
Blue balls: a chastity term that refers to the penis and testicles becoming discolored due to a poorly fitting device (usually too small) that restricts blood flow to the penis and scrotum. Blue balls are serious. If your genitals turn a different color or you experience tingling or pain, remove the chastity cage immediately.
Before committing to buying your first cage, read a chastity cage measurement guide to make sure you:
- Know how to measure yourself correctly and what measurements you need.
- Buy a device that isn’t too big (it will slip off) or too small (it could cause circulation problems).
Once you’ve got accurate measurements, you need to think about when you’ll wear it and what activities you’ll be doing. Why’s this important? Well, the best cage for wearing around your home and that your keyholder likes seeing you in, might not be the same one that’ll see you right during a workout.
Here are some of the criteria you might need your cage to meet. I’ve also suggested some devices from the Total Chastity collection that best fit each criteria.
The Most Discrete Cages
Cages that aren’t visible under clothing and don’t risk making a jangling sound have an in-built lock rather than a padlock. This is great if you plan to wear your cage out of the house when, say, you’re at work.
Devilishly Small Metal Male Chastity Cage
The Most Lightweight Cages
Lightweight cages with a short tube and a good-fitting O-ring are best for active guys who stay locked during their workout. Minimal tugging is what we’re aiming for, and further support can come from good underwear, such as a jock strap.
Holy Trainer V5 Pink Resin Sissy Chastity Cage (Various Sizes)
The Most Comfortable Cages
Sleeping in a chastity device takes some getting used to. But some models are less intrusive and more comfortable than others. These cages are great at helping you get a good night sleep.
Delightful Clear Silicone Cock Device
The Most Secure Cages
Getting out of your device quickly is important from a safety perspective. But if you’re the type who finds it hard to resist temptation, one that makes you think twice about unlocking ahead of your target time is helpful.
Small Flat Black Silicone Inverted Chastity Cage (And Color Variants)
Introducing Your Partner to Chastity Cages
For those wanting to explore this fetish with their partner by their side, broaching and discussing the topic with them can be a sticking point.
Well-known male chastity blogger Caged Lion, has been with his partner since 2003. In his post ‘How to introduce a chastity device to your partner’, he suggests that the first step isn’t handing a cage to your partner. Instead, start by getting your significant other to control your orgasms. Caged Lion writes:
How do you introduce the hardware to her?
It’s actually a lot easier than you think. By introducing orgasm control first, she’s learned that you really like her controlling if and when you get to ejaculate.
He then goes on to explain the conversation he and Mrs Lion had about introducing a cage. And once a device is involved, a whole new level of titillation can begin.
Sam is a UK-based psychologist and former professional Dominant. Her advice on the best way to introduce a partner to a new fetish echoes Caged Lion: start small and test the waters.
“Let’s take the foot fetish as an example,” says Sam. “A good place to start might be to mention to your partner that you find feet really beautiful. Depending on your partner’s response, you might then work up to saying something like, ‘I like to eat chocolate cake off a woman’s feet while she ignores me.’”
Sam’s advice is to avoid dumping your entire fetish or fantasy on them if they’re completely new to it. “But be honest and build up to it,” says Sam.
Being in a cage can be visually stimulating for both partners. So the best device may be aesthetically pleasing, as well as comfortable and functional. For example, the Look But Don’t Touch Cock Cage with its clear design and contrasting padlock might be the eye candy you want.
Conversely, some partners aren’t into the idea and could do without the extra responsibility of becoming a dominant keyholder. When this is the case, you may want to continue with your chastity journey but choose a subtle cage that draws little attention.
When Chastity Comes up in Conversation
Unless you move in certain circles, it’s rare for male chastity and cock cages to come up in conversation. Not impossible. But not likely. What is likely to come up in general chit-chat is the subject of sex.
Whether it’s part of a light-hearted catch up with a buddy who’s letting off steam about his libido, or when you’re out with other couples, sex is a topic that’s never far away. In fact, one survey of 2,000 sexually active Americans found that sex is talked about 5 times a day, with 65% saying they feel comfortable sharing the details of their sex life with others. So how do you handle these conversations when you’re locked up in chastity and not actually having that much sex? (But you don’t want to let on that’s the case.)
I asked Sam’s advice on what to do in this situation. She suggests gauging your audience before deciding what to reveal. “Let’s say the guy in this situation is single but doesn’t want to disclose his chastity fetish. His best approach would be to openly admit that he’s simply not getting any. He doesn’t have to go into detail about why,” says Sam. This approach allows you to stay involved, stay honest, and stay out of the way of any more questions.
When it comes to answering questions, consider how you’ll feel about being asked them. Only invite people to ask questions if you’re comfortable talking about your fetish. If it’s something you want to keep private, then you might say, “Thanks for being interested, but I’d rather not go into detail,” and then point them in the direction of resources and blogs you’ve found helpful.
When someone has a partner its not only about protecting their own fetish. “In this case they’ll need to gauge their audience and, hopefully they’ll have discussed with their partner how much they want to make public or not,” Sam advises.
“If out with close friends and being open and honest is an option, then great. If not, discretion is best. People can be very unkind when they don’t understand a fetish,” Sam cautions.
How you talk about male chastity will likely influence the people you speak to. If you’re wearing a chastity device every day and you remain very factual and neutral about it, that may affect how someone thinks or feels about it in the first instance. Of course, their views may change as they process the information.
Delving Deeper Into Chastity
Introducing male chastity into your life can take time and a little bit of trial and error. From finding a well fitted cage to navigating conversations with your partner and even figuring out how to exercise while caged, there’s a lot to learn and take on board.
As you feel your way through, working out what you like and don’t like, you’ll start to make chastity cage wearing your own. To help along the way, you may find the following articles useful.
Can You Have an Orgasm While in Chastity?
